In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize