wat bout pragnant strippers??
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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