mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
