I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
