How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
