Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Randomize
