You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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