it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
