is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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