just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
