If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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