So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize