I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
