I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
