one might say we're banned from that church
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
