Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
