A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Panties = found
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
