drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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