Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
