Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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