No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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