the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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