Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
