Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm gonna fight the coyote
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
