My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
