high people should be assigned attendants
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
