if you like me you must not know who I am
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
