I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
