just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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