Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
