my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
