"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
