I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My vagina just recognized that song.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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