Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize
