Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize