a queef is a wish your heart makes.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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