You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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