This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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