I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
