Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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