You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
