Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
