I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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