I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize