...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
