Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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