hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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