Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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