Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
If its not for food we ain't going out.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
