Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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