Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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