he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
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