Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
