Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
