I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
