Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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