If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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